Remembering Acchukka: A life well-lived

Fondly and respectfully called Acchukka by my in-laws (in the immediate and extended family), he was gentle by nature. However, he often pretended to be haughty—perhaps his early hardships and struggles boosted his air of superiority. Kallaputhiya Veettil Ashraf passed away on Friday, March 17th, at 9.00 am at Kannur. (Most Muslims deeply believe death on a Friday is a good sign). From God, we come, and to Him, we return.

While he was alive, I had not thought about him often. Neither did I regularly meet him. I came across him once in six months or so at a wedding function or when he used to visit his sister (i.e. my mother-in-law). After my mother-in-law’s (Umma) death two years ago, Acchukka occasionally visited my father-in-law.

He was a frequent traveller. If one day he was in Calicut, the next day I would hear he was in Dubai. And next month, he would be in Cairo and a couple of days later at Cochin, in his flat. I always heard of his voyages from some relatives. He’s often talked about. Since he had multiple health issues, his relatives were worried about him. They spoke about his willpower at 76, travelling alone; sometimes, his friend or grandson accompanied him.

For me, he was only my husband, Auswaf’s uncle. Acchukka would greet me with a lovely smile, warmth and affection whenever we met. Sometimes, he extended his hand for a shake. He always addressed me as Raziya (I would prefer to be called Razeena), but I didn’t correct him. I knew the name Raziya was registered in his mind, and since we hardly see each other, there was no point in making him accurately pronounce my name.

On the 17th, Friday morning, my husband and I decided to visit him at the hospital. His condition was critical from the stroke he had suffered three days before. We took the morning train so that we could get back by noon. Halfway through the journey, we got a message from his eldest son that he had passed away. We continued the trip to the hospital and saw him lying still—the towering personality I had known since 1989. His grandchildren were reading the Quran sitting around his bed. I made a little prayer for his better life in the hereafter.

We exited the hospital room and joined a few others standing in the corridor, waiting for other formalities to get over. Decisions such as the time of the funeral, speeding up of discharge summary, and the arrangement of an ambulance to carry the body home had to be taken. I was standing a bit afar observing ongoings. And slowly, without realizing I was reminiscing about his good old days—his early life (as narrated by my in-laws). His first trip to the gulf was in the 1970s, on a ship without travel documents (The movie Pathemari, essayed by Mammooty, portrays such escapades). Acchukka was also known as one of the naughtiest among the nine, thus always taking risky decisions. In a flash, I also recalled my stay with their family in Abu Dhabi in 1996.

I had the opportunity to accompany Umma and my husband for the Hajj pilgrimage. I was only 23 years old and didn’t know much about Hajj and its spiritual value. But I knew that Hajj was mandatory if you had health and wealth. I had health but no wealth. Blessings and opportunities came in different ways. Since my father-in-law could not accompany Umma, he suggested Auswaf accompany her. Umma was partially paralyzed from a stroke; therefore, a female’s support was also necessary throughout the journey. I was the best person to accompany them. Before I could understand what was happening, I was on a pilgrimage.

A few days before the journey, Acchukka called us and suggested we return via Abu Dhabi. He thought it would be a change for Umma, and since she cannot travel frequently, we should consider this trip a great opportunity. There was criticism from some ‘pious’ people that the rewards we get from the Hajj would be nullified as we would be stepping into another country for materialistic and mundane purposes. But we did not heed much to those gibberish criticisms. Those days it needed 40 days to perform Hajj, including the days in Mecca and Medina, so we had ample time to talk to our Hajj group’s in-charge and reroute our return tickets.

The Hajj was performed well. And as planned, we boarded to Abu Dhabi. It was my first trip to the UAE. We were spellbound, and the excitement on my mother-in-law’s face was such a delight to see. Acchukka and his family showered us with affection and warmth. Different kinds of eatables—fruits, Arabic sweets and homemade Kerala items filled the table. We spent a lovely and memorable day shuttling between Abu Dhabi and Dubai, visiting relatives.

On the last two days in Abu Dhabi, Acchukka took us to malls and bought gifts for Umma. As expected, we were carrying excess baggage. Love and affection between a brother and sister dominated the moment more than flight rules. Auswaf was a little irritated, wondering how to manage and how much we would have to pay for the excess luggage. Nevertheless, we managed to check in without any hassles. Each had a heavy hand-carry bag to be dragged to the in-flight cabin space – even umma too was wheeling a suitcase.

Meanwhile, the uncle did not stop there. Without anyone noticing, he slid 500 Dirhams currency into my husband’s pocket just before we bid goodbye from the airport. He said, “Give it to Raziya.” I was surprised. Auswaf asked me if I wanted anything from the Duty-free shops. For some reason, I couldn’t buy anything. I kept the money with me.

Before we left for the Hajj, Auswaf worked part-time in a private dental clinic in Calicut. It was only three years since he finished his bachelor’s in dentistry. He was clueless about taking off his career from there. While contemplating his next step, my father-in-law gave him the hajj proposal. So he resigned from the part-time job. Meanwhile, an advertisement in ‘The Hindu’ for a tutor post at Al Ameen Dental College, Bijapur, Karnataka, came as a boon. He applied, and by the time we reached back, we had received a positive response from them to join ASAP.

We landed in Calicut on May 26th, 1996. On the following day itself, we both headed towards Manipal. My son Ali was then 6 years old. I had to take Class I admission for him, as his classes were to begin on June 1st. The problem of ‘settlement’ hits you when your child starts school. Until then, those days, you shuttle between the husband’s home and your parental home. Auswaf had to rush to Bijapur to join for duty. I exchanged the 500 Dirhams currency for INR – got a considerable amount of approximately 5000 bucks. I used that money for Ali’s admission with prayer and gratitude to Accukka.